We have arrived at the hometown dates, bachelor lovers!

Kendall’s Hometown Date
Up first, we traveled to Los Angeles, Kendall’s hometown. On his way to meet Kendall, Arie reminds us once again that she’s so “quirky.” I mean, aside from the whole taxidermy thing, she does seem pretty normal, and compared to some of the other ladies that’s actually a good thing. But why must Kendall be limited to only “quirky?” And why does it sound like an insult when Arie says it?

Anyway, Arie heads to meet Kendall in a warehouse… filled with dead taxidermy animals, of course! He finds out they’re going to be mounting some taxidermy of their very own! How romantic! “This is some Silence of the Lambs stuff”, mutters the Bachelor as he stretches a limp rat skin over a wooden form. They make a little rat Bachelor (wow, so appropriate) and a little bride rat, and they make the rats kiss in front of a scenic Paris background. OK, Arie, you win this time: Kendall’s date is very, as you’d say, quirky.

That night at the house, Kendall introduces Arie to her father Bob, her mom Michele, her little brother Colton, and her identical twin sister Kylie. Hold up, Kylie? As in Kendall and Kylie? In fact, when Arie finally meets twin Kylie she tells him that she feels Arie and Kendall have “something there,” but she senses some space between them. Surprisingly, though, Kylie thinks that hesitation is coming from Kendall—not from Arie.

She’s not the only one picking up on some negative vibes from Kendall: Her dad also tells Arie he’s not sure his daughter is quite ready for marriage yet. Meanwhile, even Kendall herself admits to Kylie that she’s not ready for a marriage proposal. Even though Kendall’s still unsure about the whole marriage thing, she does tell Arie that she’s falling for him. She admits that it’s been so hard for her to open up and communicate, and he responds with, “Yeah.”

Tia’s Hometown Date
Let’s head on over to Weiner Arkansas y’all! Tia takes Arie to Crowley’s Ridge Raceway for something “near and dear” to Arie’s heart: driving fast in dangerous cars! Afterwards, Tia takes Arie home to meet the fam.

After an appetizer of cocktail wieners (fitting), Tia’s brother takes Arie out to the family “cook shack” for some “bro time” and immediately confronts Arie. He tells him he’s heard about the “Kissing Bandit” nickname and read the rumors online that Arie’s a playboy. Arie instantly gulps, then admits that, yeah, he’s had some fun in his day is a race car driver. But, that’s not who he is now… even though he’s been dating 25 women at the same time for the last few months.

Tia’s dad is also concerned about Arie’s history, so he too takes Arie out to the “cook shack” for a man-to-man. Who knows how long their conversation really was, but about 45 seconds later Kenny gives Arie his blessing. “If you hurt her, I can find ya on google” he jokes with a menacing chuckle.

Before letting Arie go, Tia makes sure he knows that she’s “in love” with him, not just “falling in love.” As we all know, it’s an important distinction in the Bachelor world.

Becca’s Hometown Date
The third hometown date belongs to Becca, who takes Arie apple picking in Minnesota. Becca warns Arie that her Uncle Gary, who’s been like a second father to her after her dad died, will likely be the toughest family interrogator. At the house, Uncle Gary, naturally, is the first one to take Arie aside for a chat. It starts off emotional—he tears up while talking about Becca’s dad passing away—before he immediately transitions to tough guy mode, asking Arie straight up if he’s wasting Becca’s time.

However, it turns out Becca’s mom Jill may be the toughest one to convince about the validity of “this process.” Jill says she likes Arie fine, but what about when it comes to giving the Bachelor her blessing to propose to Becca?

Jill is hesitant to give her “blessing,” per se, but she basically tells Arie that she won’t file a missing persons report if Becca decides to marry him. And I think we all can guess what Arie says in response: “I love that!”

Lauren’s Hometown Date
Next, Arie travels to Virginia Beach, Virginia to meet Lauren, where they ride horses on the beach and continue to not talk to each other, except for one conversation in which she warns him how tough her family will be.

When he meets them, Arie instantly reads the room and feels the tension. Wow, so shocking that Lauren’s family is just as silent as she is. The Bachelor is able to entertain the family for about 0.3 seconds by saying “Lauren, you’re beautiful” in Dutch…but then it’s back to awkward silence again. It’s so awkward that Arie even gets up in the middle of dinner to go wipe his sweat away.

Lauren B’s dad, Dave, was talked up to be so scary and tough, but as soon as he sits down with Arie they’re toasting each other and laughing. And from there, we wind up in “If Lauren likes you, I like you” territory — which is a bit of a letdown given all the promos showing Dave threatening to “kill” Arie if he hurts his daughter. But he still has to win over mom. It’s her mom who’s much more reserved and skeptical—you can tell where Lauren gets her, uh, personality.

Lauren’s mom, Pamela, is worried that because Arie is “compartmentalizing” his relationships with four different women, he’s not going to be able to commit fully to any of them — and she’s also not buying Arie’s assertion that he’s not giving the same spiel to each set of parents (by the way he definitely is).

Rose Ceremony
With hometowns done, lets see who gets the boot before fantasy suites. Right away, it’s clear Arie’s nervous. He stumbles over his words and leaves the room for a moment to sigh deeply and rub his hands together in peace. “For me, It’s like an impossible decision right now,” Arie tells us. But then, a twist! He asks Kendall if he can pull her aside before he makes his decision. Gasp! The three remaining girls speculate about who he is choosing between. Turns out he wants to know if Kendall’s ready to get engaged or not.

Kendall, bless her, stands her ground, saying that while she doesn’t want to lose Arie, she “can’t say, at this very moment…that I’m ready to be engaged.” That seems to be enough for Arie; he hands out roses to Becca, Lauren, aaannndd… Kendall. That means Tia is going home.

“I did not expect this,” she sobs, as Arie walks her out to the Bye-Bye Bench. “What did I do wrong?” Besides going on this show, honey, absolutely nothing. In a remarkable moment of emotional intelligence, Arie reminds Tia that this breakup “is not about your worth,” it’s just “about the emotion between two people.”

Well, that’s all for this week, bachelor fans, make sure to tune in for two back-to-back episodes of The Bachelor next week! “Women Tell All” on Sunday, and the overnight dates on Monday! Double the bachelor, double the fun!