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Bachelor Recap: Arie is the absolute worst.

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Well rose lovers, the day has finally come. As uneventful as this season’s been, it certainly ended with a bang. Throughout the season I wondered if I was being too hard on Arie, but now those worries have all gone out the window. Arie Luyendyk Jr. is the absolute worst! And I knew it all along! Ha! Warning: spoilers ahead.

The final two ladies: who will win Arie’s heart?

We open on the beautiful city of Cusco, Peru, and according to Arie, the coolest thing about Peru are the “alpacas walking around randomly”. What’s not cool, though, is the fact that he can’t make up his mind between his two remaining women. Basically, Arie needs major help, so he brings in the big guns: the whole Luyendyk family!

Lauren is the first to meet Arie’s parents, and she’s nervous about it. Arie really wants his family to understand what he sees in Lauren. How about letting us in on that secret Arie? Considering all of America still doesn’t get it. The family visit doesn’t start off that great, either, when Lauren gives a supremely awkward toast: “So, I am very happy to be here in Peru with the family of the guy I’m in love with.” That’s all she says. His mom literally goes, “Oh, Okay…” before everyone meekly cheers.

But how will Becca compare? First of all, she shows up with flowers for Mama Luyendyk because she came to win. Arie’s mom is skeptical though because she really liked Lauren, and Arie’s dad also seems kinda hung up on Lauren too. He keeps bringing her up around Becca, even asking the insanely awkward question of whether or not they get along. Becca’s answer is so careful. Lots of “yeahhhh, she’s totally great. I mean, I was closer with some of the other girls, but….” Arie’s dad straight-up tells Becca he can’t tell who Arie prefers, and would be happy with either of them, which does not go over well.

Arie has a tough decision ahead of him.

After both ladies have left, Arie turns to his family for help. “It’s hard because I feel like it makes more sense with Becca,” he says. “But with Lauren there’s like this undeniable love there.” In past seasons, we’d only get to see the family saying stuff like “we know you’ll make the right choice” and “we’ll support you no matter what,” but in this case, again, the producers give it to us straight: Everyone in Arie’s family is Team Becca. Mama Luyendyk says Becca is the better choice because she’s more stable. Arie just nods and says they’ve given him a lot to think about.

The next day is his one-on-one date with Lauren, they arrive at Machu Picchu where they stand around staring into the distance and repeating “that’s so cool.” (Editor’s note: deja vu, deja vu.) That night, Arie asks how she envisions their life together and this is what she says: “So, like, right now if we were to go home I could see us, like, waking up and having coffee in the morning and taking [our dogs] for a walk together. And then we’d go to work, come home, make dinner together, have a glass of wine, and then maybe on the weekends take the dogs to the park or hang out with family, hang out with friends. Just do normal couple stuff.” It’s the most she’s ever said this entire season. To Arie, that life—dog walking and, like, maybe hanging out with friends—is exactly what he wants too.

Arie and Lauren overlook the mountains on their very last on-on-one.

The next day Arie and Becca’s date involves shopping at a local market and petting alpacas. That night, she presents Arie with a scrapbook featuring photos of their relationship and she leaves a blank page for “Our first baby.” Yikes. By the end of the night, Arie is still “struggling” to make a decision.

Arie and Becca feed some alpacas which are apparently “roaming around everywhere” according to our Bachelor.

The next morning he finally has clarity for the first time all season, and just in time, too, because Neil Lane is here with a giant diamond ring! Once the ring has been chosen, it’s time to for Arie to drop the hammer on a woman who absolutely doesn’t see it coming.

Lauren gets out of the limo first, which means this will not end well for her. “I can’t even imagine him not proposing to me today,” she says. Uh, got some bad news for you honey… After Lauren pledges her eternal love to Arie (“You’re the man I’ve been looking for my whole life”), the Bachelor, barely able to hold back his tears, lets out a pained sigh and breaks the bad news. “I can’t go through with it,” he tells Lauren.

She barely manages a tear before she’s like, “OK, I wish you the best.” It’s all so… quiet, but what else would you expect? Still, Arie can’t even manage to let out one tear despite their connection supposedly being “so intense”. Weirdly enough, Arie and Lauren both confess their love for each other one last time before Lauren gets into the reject SUV. In the car back to the hotel, Lauren admits she feels betrayed. “How could you do that to someone?” she asks. “I don’t get it.” Lauren wonders how Arie could propose to Becca if he claims he wasn’t sure what he was going to do until that morning. Uh, you and me both sister.

When Becca arrives, she gives a speech about how Arie is so “calm, cool, and collected.” I take issue with that, but will let it slide because I have a feeling something is about to go down. “I’m just ready to do this thing with you,” she concludes. Arie gets down on one knee, proposes, and Becca says yes. They kiss, happy music plays, happily ever after! Or is it…?

Arie gets down on one knee and chooses Becca to receive his final rose.

The hour we have left in the show suggests that it’s not. And here comes Chris Harrison with all the tea!

We check in with our “happy couple” playing chess, eating pizza, and brushing their teeth together (how cute) but Arie reveals that he cant stop thinking about Lauren! “I go to bed and I think about Lauren, and I wake up and I think about Lauren,” says Arie. He decides to call off the engagement and “risk it all” for a chance to be with Lauren.

Though Arie isn’t sure how to tell Becca, Team Bachelor has that all figured out: They’ll lure her to another “happy couple” weekend, where a full production crew will be waiting to capture the entire awful encounter for all the fans at home.

As soon as he arrives, he tells Becca he wants to “talk” which is basically code for “I’m breaking up with you”. “You’re making me really nervous right now,” she says quietly. “What’s up?” Well, dear Becca, what’s up is the man who said he’d “choose you every day” for the rest of your lives is now choosing to throw in the towel so he can date the runner-up.

Becca’s response is similar to those of us watching at home: “Are you f***ing kidding me?” Arie continues to dig himself into a hole, adding that he recently spoke to Lauren and that the feelings are all still there. She literally cringes when Arie tries to say, “I know that you’re an incredible woman…” Beyond being stunned, floored, confused, and mortified, Becca is just straight up mad. For one thing, she wants to know if Arie was so “conflicted” in Peru, why did he decide to get engaged? (His answer is basically, “Yep, my bad.”) “This is f***ing embarrassing,” she tells him. “You shouldn’t have gotten down on one knee.”

A split screen captures the most awkward break up in Bachelor history.

After sitting in a painful silence for what feels like hours, Becca calls the time of death on one of the shortest Bachelor relationships on record. “Well, I hope you find what you want,” she says, sighing. “It’s clearly not me.” Becca gets up to go pack her bag. Arie follows her into the other room, gazing at her forlornly, not saying anything, “I’m not going to hug you goodbye,” she snaps.

At one point, while she’s crying in the bathroom, he and knocks on the door and is like, “Hey, are you OK?” as if he didn’t just dump her on national television ten minutes ago, and she practically screams, “Just leaveeeee!” Becca has to ask him three more times to get out and he still sits on the couch, until he eventually mumbles “OK, I’m gonna go” and then looks at her expectantly, like maybe she’ll give him a hug. She doesn’t (obviously), so he gets up and walks out.

And that’s it. It’s finally over. The MOST SHOCKING episode in Bachelor history! When we cut back to the studio, Becca’s there with Chris Harrison and looking fantastic. She reveals she hasn’t talked to Arie or seen him since that day, but that’s going to change: Tomorrow, ABC will have Becca, Arie, and Lauren on stage to reveal all. Stay tuned Bachelor fans, this wild ride isn’t over just yet!

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About the Writer
Isabelle Dyer, Features Editor

Isabelle Dyer is a senior, and this is her first year on staff as Features Editor.  She is involved in Drama, Concert Choir, and York Dance Company, so...

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Bachelor Recap: Arie is the absolute worst.