With so many top ten lists created at the end of the year, “Is This York?” decided to jump on the bandwagon. Photo courtesy of ProFellow.
With so many top ten lists created at the end of the year, “Is This York?” decided to jump on the bandwagon. Photo courtesy of ProFellow.

The Top 10 Top Ten Lists of 2018

David Hansen, Satire Editor

January 10, 2019

At the end of each year, the public is pummeled with an abundance of top ten lists as a way to sum up the insanity of the previous year. That’s why “Is This York?” is here to help break down the best of the best. Here are the top ten top ten lists of 2018, ranked from 10-1 with #1 being the single greatest list. Grab some popcorn, strap in, and keep your inhaler handy because this list will leave you breathless.

 

  1. Top Ten Flightless Birds

This list was very helpful. I had just thought to myself, “Man, I wish I could name more than three flightless birds,” and up pops this suggestion. Isn’t it incredible that there’s practically a top ten list for everything?

My only issue is that penguins were ranked sixth when they are a clear number one. Since this list doesn’t have the exact same opinion as I do, it is completely invalid. Still, the concept was very intriguing.

 

  1. Top Ten Royal Weddings of 2018

There were actually a lot more weddings in 2018 than you would think. The reason it’s so low on the list is that the number one spot was pretty obvious. (Spoiler: it’s the Canadian wedding between Prince Tristoon Contanteh and a moose).

 

  1. Top Ten People Who Got Mad at Fortnite For “Stealing Their Dance Moves”

Remember when people sued a video game company over a dance? It’s nice to know that kids eating laundry detergent wasn’t the lowest point of 2018. Speaking of which…

 

  1. Top Ten Kids Who Survived The Tide Pods Challenge

Plus points for the difficulty of this feat. Minus points for not being able to fill ten spots.

 

  1. Top Ten Pieces of Satire Published on “Is This York?” in 2018

Same issue as number seven.

 

  1. Top Ten Parts of  “Bohemian Rhapsody” That Were Actually Factual

Same issue as number seven. In fact, the only reason it’s this high is that Rami Malek killed it.

That being said, the couple who sat next to me in the theater prevents this list from being ranked higher. The husband smelled like a fried skunk who went through 20 Juul Pods before coming to the theater. The wife was clearly reliving her glory days as an amateur groupie as she sang and clapped along to every song. In the middle of the theater. Right. In. My. Ear. To make matters worse, she clapped off-beat the entire time. EVERY time. Even during “We Will Rock You”, where THEY GIVE YOU THE BEAT TO CLAP ALONG WITH. HOW CAN YOU BE SO OFF BEAT THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN DO A SIMPLE STOMP-STOMP CLAP? IF YOU’RE GOING TO RUIN MY THEATER EXPERIENCE, DO SO ON BEAT.

… Excuse me that got a little out of hand.

 

  1. Top Ten Reasons People With Airpods are Better Than You

“Sorry, I don’t speak broke” -all Airpod users as they sneeze into a hundred dollar bill.

This list would be higher if my parents had gotten me Airpods for Christmas instead of socks.

 

  1. Top Ten Lists I Wasn’t Allowed to Put on This List

Apparently, top ten Elmhurst eMom overreactions is not a good idea. Neither is top ten Kevin Spacey love interests, but in my defense, I meant strictly on screen.

 

  1. Top Ten Reasons the Chicago Bears Will Crush the Philadelphia Eagles

A lot of these points really hit the mark, just like Cody Parkey hit the uprights. Unfortunately, all of these reasons are now invalid since Cody Parkey hit the uprights.

 

  1. Top Ten Top Ten Lists of 2018

This was so good we’re going to ignore the fact it was made in 2019.

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