Day in the life of my dog during quarantine
April 26, 2020
It’s not easy being top dog in the house. There are a whole lot of responsibilities that come with the job: keeping all the humans in line and making sure everyone is happy. I am so grateful to finally have this outlet to express my thoughts and show my audience what really goes into my schedule during isolation.
Under normal circumstances, I would have a break from my responsibilities while the humans are off at work and school, but everything has changed since society has transitioned to staying home. I am sharing the details of my day-to-day life while hanging out with all my humans during this whole quarantine nonsense. My servants (oops I mean- humans) are very busy but they always have time to wait on me paw and paw.
5:15 to 7:00 a.m.: The day begins when I bark and growl loudly at my humans to wake up and feed me my kibble. They always respond with, “Lucy go back to bed” and “it’s not time yet,” but I have nothing better to do than bark, and I have really worked up an appetite by now. After a bit of back and forth arguing between us, one of my humans FINALLY decides to get up and trudge down to the kitchen for my breakfast time. A five-course meal is the only thing that will give me energy to prepare me for my tough day ahead. I start with a classic cup of joe from Brazil, and then transition into very traditional breakfast items such as steak and a side of imported Italian eggs, gourmet crepes fresh from Paris and, of course, the basic bowl of kibble. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!
7:00 to 9:00 a.m.: This is when everyone in my house starts to get moving for the day. Since everyone is home all day, I am not sure why we can’t just go back to bed for the rest of the day, but they insist they have to shower and then drink their coffee instead of catching some zzz’s like I want to do.
Since isolation has started, when my humans order coffee from local shops, I get a super special cup of my own morning pick me up. My sister (human, I think) always feeds me a puppachino, which is a cup filled with whipped cream and dog treats. I have asked my sister for an interview to discuss this precious time we have together, but she only responded with, “Lucy, I’m trying to get on Zoom, so please stop barking.”
Before they start working for the day, I require that each human rubs my belly and tells me what a good girl I am because, let’s face it, I am truly a delight to be around. After an appropriate amount of time scratching my ears and telling me I’m pretty, I allow them to go to their designated rooms to start typing and talking to the screen for the next couple of hours while I go from room to room to visit them all periodically and take naps on each of their beds.
9:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.: I am starting to get super bored. Since everyone is home, I feel as though we should be spending time going on adventures rather than staying cooped up in the house all day.
After working for what seems like hours, I let my humans know that it is time to go on our very first walk of the day. I kindly let them know by standing by their feet and whimpering, a strategy that seems to be working very well to get them moving. Sometimes when I really want to go, I will bug my eyes out and sit very nicely, hoping that they will get the hint. Pro tip: if you look at them and nod your head to one side, they will give into whatever you want.
1:00 to 2:30 p.m.: When we are finally off to the races, my son (also a dog) and I like to greet every person and animal we see on the trail. Through trial and error, we have discovered that although the squirrels with the white stripes look friendly, they mean all business.
Social distancing is not working out well for me because I love people petting me and praising me to my humans. Nowadays, people walk far away from my pack. I cannot wait for things to return to normal, so I can make more friends with humans and their dog friends.
2:30 to 6:00 p.m.: Unfortunately, the humans have to go back to work for the rest of the afternoon. I spend the next few hours alternating between their desks until dinner. I also like to move from couch to couch for my naps so I can have the ultimate sleeping experience so I can rest up before my next big walk.
When dinner time comes, the breakfast ritual starts again where I start barking and growling to let the humans know I am starving and will die of hunger right now even though I ate only 12 hours ago. I do this because it’s important that they are aware of my health. Forgive me, but I am only a dog and I have needs.
6:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m.: After dinner, I end my evening with a nice, long walk. Currently, I walk more than three miles per night with periodic breaks so I can pick up and eat garbage on the path. My human always tries to take it, but I don’t think he understands how much I enjoy the Chick-fil-A sauce packets that are sometimes on the trail. Suuuurre Andy, I am just a pathetic little dog who would die for the last bit of cream at the bottom of a thrown away frappuccino cup. It’s not like we dogs come from top apex predators or anything like that *wink*.
I also really enjoy stopping to roll on the ground wherever we are. That is the prime time for a belly rub.
When we are finished with our walk, my son and I like to reenact MMA fighting with my son and then I take a pre-bedtime nap to celebrate my victory while our human finishes up work in the basement. When he is all done, we all head upstairs and I have to make as much noise as possible to wake up the rest of the sleeping humans. All of my servants need to know how much I appreciate their work throughout the day. It’s not easy being in charge, but they all make my job so much easier.