York students converse in a 2018 assembly. (Photo courtesy of York High School Twitte)
York students converse in a 2018 assembly.

Photo courtesy of York High School Twitte

The Top-Ten Hallway Quotes Without Context Ranked

September 11, 2020

Miss the York hallways? Yeah, so do I. The laughter, the unnecessary screeching, but most of all, the random conversations. My sophomore year of high school I realized  the things said in the hallway just needed to be documented, and I started a list. I ranked the top ten craziest things I overheard in classrooms, libraries and of course, hallways. 

  1. “This is the worst piece of writing I’ve ever written”

In the number ten spot, we have a statement that seems a little off grammar wise, but is certainly funny nevertheless. Whatever this student wrote, I truly hope it wasn’t as bad as they  thought.

  1. “Did you hear? I didn’t drown today!”

I am ecstatic this person did not drown. However, making it such an enthusiastic announcement implies they have trouble keeping themselves above water. That is rather terrifying. 

  1. “That means if I get in a car crash, FREE towing for 100 miles!”

Okay, while I’m curious as to how the rest of this conversation played out, I am distracted by the overall craziness of this quote. I mean the free towing is cool and all, but is the car crash really worth it? I don’t think so. 

  1. “My spleen could burst at any moment.”

Wow. Just wow. I am both confused and concerned. Mostly concerned. Concerned enough to put this quote at number seven. 

  1. “Angry is my primary emotion.”

Here’s the thing: If this was said before eight o’clock a.m., it is justified. After that, it is just sad. Either way, it is here at the number six spot.

  1. “You look like a trash compactor.”

This insult is in the middle because it is equal parts mean, confusing- and hilarious. 

  1. “I didn’t learn how to multiply until fourth grade.”

The fact that this was said in close proximity to a math class of some sort is delicious irony I just cannot ignore. Hello quote number four. 

  1. “Your white blood cells are literally just M&M’s.”

I cannot say that I have ever thought this when in an argument. Yet the energy is unmatched. Definitely top three material.

  1. “People like scrambled eggs too much.”

This is the runner-up because I thought about it for the rest of the week. Do people like scrambled eggs too much? Is this an issue? I’ve concluded that yes, they do, and possibly, it could be. 

  1. “People are too happy today.”

Ah, nothing can beat the classic high-schooler pessimism. This quote perfectly captures what it means to wake up at the crack of dawn and jam our tired brains full of calculus. But hey, if we did not, we would not overhear conversations in the hallway that make us laugh every day. 


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