To date or not to date: prom pressures students to find a partner for the evening

Prom season began and with that follows the immense pressure of finding the right dress, suit, shoes and hairdos. But there is also an underlying stigma that is less talked about; the pressure to find a date for prom. Seniors and juniors scramble to find the right date before the dance and many spoke of their experiences trying to find one. 

“I felt like everyone had to have a date,” senior Olivia Hyso said. “You had to or you would look like a loser. So I asked a kid from another school and he ended up ghosting me. I asked another guy and he ended up going with another girl. But I got asked out yesterday so it worked out but I felt very pressured. Third time’s a charm.”

Most students feel a sense of fear of being judged or not having the prom experience that they should be having. Due to COVID-19, the current seniors were unable to attend prom as juniors. Now, seniors are more likely to feel this pressure since it is their last prom and especially because this is their only prom in high school.

“Most people feel like they need a date, especially seniors because it’s their only prom,” senior and student council member Allyson Hiser said. “I feel like it’s dinner as well and you feel like you need a date for the dinner part. People think you’re not necessarily cool unless you have a date.”

Students go to certain lengths to find the right date to prom, however, this can lead to an awkward experience shared by both members of the party. Some students spoke of how they were encountered with odd propositions regarding a date. 

“I just hear a lot of people who get asked by people who they don’t even talk to or don’t know very well just because they feel like they need to have someone to go with,” Hiser said. “It can be kind of weird and could be awkward at the dance.”

The stress of finding a date is no strange feeling to high schoolers now or years ago. When administrators acknowledge the return of the date dilemma for students, they remind them what truly matters at prom.  

“Your friends are there,” Dean Phil Urbanski said. “If you don’t go to the dance without a date, you get your friends to dance. You’re all dancing together anyway. Seniors went to prom and you found a date. I didn’t go my junior year, I didn’t care. You don’t need a date to justify you.” 

All in all, students speculate whether going to prom with a date is necessary. The pressure to find a date to the prom is not going away anytime soon but dance attendees are encouraged to remember what prom is meant for and how they act as exciting bookends to high school careers. 

“I’m just going with a group of friends and I don’t feel like I need a date because I have my friends,” senior Julia Beltran said. “Obviously it’s whatever you’re most comfortable with but don’t deny yourself that experience just because you don’t have a person you’re supposed to share that with because you can share that with your friends and it’s the same thing.”