Twilight. Jeez, when will I stop hating it?

1: The mere fact that it’s longer the the ENTIRE Lord of the Rings trilogy combined. 

The LOTR trilogy is at least 680 minutes in length (for the extended edition), while Twilight and it’s sequels are LONGER then that in terms of pages. As one can imagine, it can be a real snoozer.

2. It’s an insult to vampires AND werewolves. 

Seriously, they make the vampires sparkling pretty boys, and the werewolves muscle bound teenagers (no offense to anyone of that body type).

3: Edward is characterized as the ultimate pretty boy. I resent pretty boys… 

Well, almost all pretty boys, but still. At the end of the day, Edward and Justin Be- (Sorry Belibers, but you know where this is going) No. Just no.

4:  Bella has about as much personality as a rock- scratch that, a football- no that’s too easy.  Ironicly enough, she’s like a zombie from “The Walking Dead.” 

Oh boy, now we’re getting onto some real thin ice. Bella (portrayed in the movies by Kristen Stewart, and who knew it would be fitting?) doesn’t have a personality,  has personality, Bella doesn’t, plus ANYONE can relate to her. This wouldn’t be a problem if SHE HAD SOME PERSONALITY!

5: It’s like “Romeo and Juliet” meets “West Side Story” meets “Dracula.”  Bram Stoker and Will Shakespeare are spinning in their graves about this.

Honestly, Romeo and Juliet–despite being made at least 500 years prior to this thing–is a better love story by a landslide. Calling these patchworks “books” is an insult to good literature. 

6: Meyer has the writing capacity of a 10-year-old.  Stephen King is probably spinning in his grave–waitaminute, he’s not dead yet! D’oh.

The sad irony here is that Meyer actually has a COLLEGE DEGREE! So does King, and he also has more books under his belt.

 7: It sends a bad message to females; that it is okay to be in a relationship that is one-sided and possessive (no pun intended). 

This is something that hits close to home because of my belief that all people should be equal.

8: THEY MADE A MOVIE BASED ON IT! Four movies. All of them varying in cheesiness.

Plus, they actually do justice to the source. They are the same Frankenstein monster that the books were.

9: The fan base (about 3/4 of them) are a bunch of groupies of Edward… WWWWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?????!!!!! 

Plus, any criticism made by people who ACTUALLY HAVE COMMON SENSE  gets taken to the heart, (yes, they have hearts. Let that sink in) , of these groupies and they go ballistic. WHY????!!!!

10: Vampires! Don’t! Sparkle! 

Dracula doesn’t sparkle. Nosferatu doesn’t sparkle. Those vampires from “From Dusk Till Dawn” don’t sparkle. Notice a trend among them? THEY! DON’T! SPARKLE! Edward and his family don’t sparkle, plus they drink animal blood…

Godspeed